Update with Aunt Gladys's (very) Personal Diary:
Dear Diary,
I had a normal Christmas day with the lovely Hunter Family. My favourite nephew, Ronald, was there, with his brother Dav.
That was not the name he was Christened with but a couple of years ago his I.D. was stolen in a computer scan so he has had to be Dav ever since. Ron was a lovely child and very intelligent. People said he had a photographic memory, but I guess he never had it developed. "Hello Mum and Dad" he said as he arrived. "Are you still lighting fires all over the place?" "Of course we are-son" replied his dad.
I had just been to my hairdresser so I wondered if he would notice. "O Ron", I said, I'm afraid my hair's a bit of a mess". "Never mind" he said, "at least your eyesight is still perfect".
When Ron recovered consciousness about an hour later we discussed our gardens. Actually that was a sore point. Ron, dear boy, had promised to mow my lawn. In spite of several reminders he never did, so when I invited him round for tea, he found me on my arthritic knees cutting the lawn with a pair of nail clippers, hoping he would take the hint. I should have known better. He went off to the shed and I thought he had but he came back with an old toothbrush and said the path needed a good scrub too.
A couple of days later, when he was able to walk again, he took me out to dinner in a new pub called The Fiddle. It was actually horrible. It really was a really vile-inn. To make up for it a couple of days later he took me to a smart Masterton restaurant. When the waiter asked him for his order, he requested the fillet steak. "Aren't you worried about mad cow?" asked the waiter. "No" said Ron, "she can order for herself".
He was quite unwell for a few days but he's tough, so he got over the bruising. We discussed what we would do if either of us won Lotto. I said I would like a smart machine that would do 0 - 150 in four seconds. He went out and bought me a set of bathroom scales.
Masterton ED was getting to know Ron quite well by now, so they treated him kindly.
We went on to discuss what we wanted for Christmas. I have to admit I was a bit disappointed with Ron, I had bought him a book to improve his English. It was written by Mr Richard Seanery, or Dick-Seanery to his friends, but Ron had obviously never read it judging by his grammar. So I told him I wasn't going to buy him anything this year because he had never used his last present. He replied that he was not going to buy anything for me either as he had bought me a lovely cemetery plot last year, but I obviously had not used that either.
Hopefully Ron will be out of hospital in a few days and we can see the Tauherinikau Races together.
And so to bed. Gladys